Royal Crescent Bath

Honesty leads to Good Things

Since writing my last post about being totally honest with yourself, doing what YOU want to do and acknowledging what actually matters in life made me realise how much I enjoy writing about being positive. Not only does it make me feel better – understanding myself better – but I hope it helps you guys too! I hope that if you are having a bad day or bad week that something like an inspirational quote/video might give you a little boost.

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I know we hear this motivating talk all the time – the quotes that say “Do more of what you love” etc. etc. …but actually think about it for a second. What would you do? If you could do anything, thinking back to old childhood aspirations. What excited you as a kid but you felt the need to supress it and shut away after having to “grow up” and become an adult? Arianna Huffington (an amazing and motivating business woman!) suggested that we seem to lose some of our creativity and sense of wonder at a certain age. Not sure when we might lose it, it could be different for everyone, but at some point we give in to what looks like the only road to take – the road that everyone else seems to be on.

As I said in my last post I felt lost last year, and didn’t know where I was going. Everyone was telling me it was fine to feel lost, everyone was in the same boat but I felt like I was still losing the “race”. The race to get to a place where I felt content with my career, relationships, and everything else in life. However, recently I have realised that it REALLY doesn’t need to be a race at all! If we all reach our version of perfection in the early years of our life what else is there to look forward to? I like to think that the different decades of my life are for reaching new goals. I don’t need to try and achieve all my life goals and aspirations in one decade. For example, I would like to think of my 20’s, like most people think, as a time to “find myself” and all that jazz. Freedom to move from one place to another and test the waters doing different things, living in different places.

Why should we feel the need to be juggling all our dreams at once!? I believe that this is why we (well some of us) feel like we are never moving anywhere is our lives, because we want to continue spinning all these different plates all at once. (Suddenly a lot circus talk – juggling and spinning plates – Ha! Excuse that!)

After having a careers interview just after Christmas I thought I had really worked out what I wanted to do – finally! I knew what industries I wanted to work in and I was excited to actually have something to tell people. But without realising it still wasn’t enough. I came back chatting to friends in the same way I was last year, saying “Yes, I’m going to look up jobs today” and “Yes, seems like it would suit me”. However I really wasn’t 100% sure and still didn’t feel a massive drive to find anything. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s hard to find a job that is amazing and absolutely perfect, and sometimes it isn’t until you start a job until you realise how much you love it. That is the way some peoples journeys start and I think that’s a great way to get the ball rolling, but after posting my New Year resolutions post the other week I felt a change… (…”within me, something is not the same, I’m through with playing by the rules of someone elses game”. Sorry had to sing it out on here too – Defying Gravity from WICKED FYI – play it now as you read this 😉 ). It was the first blog post I didn’t feel nervous about posting. I am a little nervous about posting content because I don’t see myself as a great writer. But after writing something so personal and raw last week I didn’t care. I thought who friking cares if I make a spelling mistake and parts of it are messed up, you’ll all get the gist, you’re clever people 😉 All I cared about was writing exactly how I felt and hoping that some of you guys out there might feel the same.

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Seriously… do it! ^^^

After getting positive feedback from friends about that post it helped boost my confidence a little to write more stuff like that – hence why I am writing this now. And amazingly it did reach out to other people too, people I have never met before telling me they really enjoyed reading it. It felt great to finally be so honest and for people to like it. Not only did it boost my confidence to write more positivity style blog posts but it also opened up a door to a new and exciting venture.

A new company called Bath Sparkling Wine approached me. As the name suggests, they are creating premium Sparkling wine here in Bath (the FIRST vineyard in Bath! I think that’s pretty cool!). But it isn’t just about wine, they are creating a movement – a movement that aims to inspire and empower all generations of women in Bath. Doesn’t this sound amazing?! I will tell all in my next blog post, but for now check out Bath Sparkling Wines first video:

New Year New Me

NEW YEAR Resolutions: Focus on what really matters

I was recently given this Thrive Journal, created by Arianna Huffington and Kikki K. It is a journal to reflect on different aspects of your life. It is a great book to review who you are – mind, body, aspirations etc. This book gave me the idea for this blog post. I wanted to finally lay everything out on the table and be honest with myself and start the New Year with a fresh and positive mind.

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With everything that happened last year, feeling a little lost and unhappy that I wasn’t where I was supposed to be (mostly career wise). And stressing about bumping into people who would judge me every time I had the same old conversation, saying I’m still doing the same old thing. I had one of those conversations just a few days ago, bumping into someone who knew me from my school days. The classic conversation: “Is that you? Nooo, I wouldn’t have recognised you” “What you doing now?” The sympathetic head tilt to the side when I say I work in retail and then the “Do you know what you want to do?”, and when I don’t give a clear defined answer the sad puppy dog eyes come out, added with another head tilt; like there is no hope for me because I’m still deciding what I want to do in life when I’m 23! Definitely fed up with having those conversations! Instead of just focusing on the career aspect of life I wish you could change those conversations to – ‘So how has your year been?’ ‘What are you proud of achieving this year?’ – ending the conversation with “Life’s a marathron not a sprint” kind of vibe.

But, forgetting all those annoying conversations that make you feel down about life I want to pat myself on the back for last year, and I’m confident to say I am very proud of myself. Yes, it may not have been my most productive year career wise but finally I did one of the hardest things I have had to do in a long time. I finally opened up about all my anxieties that I deal with all day everyday. After opening up and speaking to someone I was told I had PTSD (which I don’t say to say “I have something – feel sorry for me”), just feels good to be completely honest and open. It helped me realise that I don’t have to feel this way anymore and how my anxieties really stem from something! Things started to fall into place near the end of 2016 and I really think it was because I dropped all defenses about everything, I didn’t have to feel strong anymore and I felt so relieved to open up about my anxieties.

I am in no way saying I’m all set, prepped and sorted and life is great. No no, far from that! Still a work in progress. But finally, I feel free and excited about the year ahead, ignoring those feelings of being judged by others – even though frankly, I don’t thinks anyone was. And well… for the people who maybe do judge me (the head tilters) – I don’t have time for you (sassy hand raise).

In the end I just knew I wasn’t pushing myself last year, not completely, and my anxieties definitely didn’t help that. I didn’t want to stray too far from normality and change too much in case of… well let’s just say due to a number of fears. But working through my PTSD and deciding not to be bullied by my anxious thoughts made me feel very empowered. I am in no way wasting what should be the most carefree and exciting time of my life by sitting in the same spot and daydreaming about all the things I “could do”.

So yeah, let’s get onto the positive stuff – enough blabber about my stuff. Receiving this book over Christmas has really helped as well, it’s perfect for writing down all your goals, setting priorities, practising gratitude and overall, it is a great book for some self reflection. I would recommend this book to everyone! Yes you may say, ‘I don’t have time to write down goals and sleep patterns’. But seriously, if you feel lost at any point this it would be a great book to look at to motivate you and get you back on the right track again.

I always think the more reflective I can be in my life, the more I can progress and live life BOLDLY! (Yes, the last bit I’ve taken from Me Before You 😉 Another great book to put life into perspective!)

Thrive Journal Kikki K

Here are some of the quotes I have come across in the past couple of months that make me feel inspired and ready for the New Year.

You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.

John C. Maxwell

Start each day with a grateful heart.

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What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.

Jane Goodall

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Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.

Jim Rohn

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Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow.

Doug Firebaugh

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.

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And like the lovely lady J K Rowling said,

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

I hope reading these quotes has made you feel motivated to start the New Year feeling postive and empowered! LET’S ALL MAKE 2017 AN EPIC YEAR!!

End Note: Let’s all be more open about mental health issues.

“Mental health matters!”

Buy this journal from Kikki K here.